Archive for June, 2008

Relationship Advice: Voices of Experience on the Radio

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

By Jeff Herring A few years back I was on a radio talk show out of New Orleans called “The Andre’ Show” discussing “What Makes a Marriage Successful”. The producers had seen my column in the New Orleans paper and decided to create a talk show topic from the column. So now I’ll create a column from the talk show. Are you with me so far? OK. The format of the show was for the host and I to talk about what makes a successful marriage and to take calls from the listening audience. We received dozens of calls from listeners on what had made their marriage successful, and we were not able to get to them all. I was on as the supposed “marriage expert”, the real experts were the people calling in to offer what had made their marriage a success through the years. Let’s take a closer look at the themes and the advice of these experts on creating a successful marriage. Commitment The strongest theme throughout all the calls was the notion of commitment, both to the other person and to the marriage. This came from callers who had been married anywhere from ten to fifty years. And these were not people who had stayed together “for the kids” or because it was the “right thing to do.” These were people who seemed to actually be enjoying marriage and their partner after so many years. Many of these callers spoke about how rough it was in the beginning. They each spoke about how it was their commitment that held them together through the early rough spots. As one caller stated, “The beginning can be rough, but staying through the tough times to get to the good times has definitely been worth it. Besides, it’s what we said we would do in our vows.” Shared problem-solving One of the key factors that seemed to keep the commitment alive was the notion of shared problem-solving. One caller shared the traditional cliche “We just don’t let the sun go down on our anger.” My comment was that there might be many people who never got any sleep with that notion! But what the caller went on to say was this, “We don’t have to think alike, we have just learned to think together”. Excellent advice. Another caller made this interesting distinction about arguing and problem solving - ” We always make sure to argue as ‘friends’ and not as ‘husband and wife.’” This one had me really curious, so I aked the caller two questions: 1) could they elaborate, and 2) could I use this notion in my work. They said yes, I could use it and went on to explain how when arguing, they focus on holding each other in the high esteem of a long time best friend, and not in the position of someone who is trying to beat them in an argument. The notion seems to work for them and also seems to be working in my office so far. Humor and Laughter. Putting your spouse first One gentleman said that he beleived that one of their secrets to success was that early on he decided that “whatever is good for my wife is good for me.” Now pop psychology would say that this man is codependent, that is, too dependent on his wife, etc., etc. While there is a useful place for the notion of co- or over-dependency on someone, it’s a notion that has been taken to an unhealthy extreme. Just think about it , you are “co-dependent” on the chair you are sitting in to read this articel, for goodness sake. What I beleive this couple has discovered is the power of “interdependency”, the ability to trust and depend on each other. He sounded very happy, and I’m willing to bet his wife is pretty happy as well. I received quite an education while in my supposed expert role, and these are just a few of the themes that came out on the program.. What I’ve come to believe is that the real experts are those folks out there who have created successful marriages. So here’s a couple of questions: “What are the things that have made your marriage so successful?” “What’s the difference that makes the difference? Let us hear from you at the web site below. After all, you’re the real experts! Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Herring http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship-Advice:-Voices-of-Experience-on-the-Radio&id=64310 online payday loans tax implications on hard money loan interest payday advance pennsylvania payday loan no fax 1000

3 Ways ‘Going with the Flow’ Will Make You Fat - And What To Do About It!

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

By Kathryn ONeill Wanna know the truth? If youre going to be slim, youre going to have to swim against the current. Youre going to have to take charge of your body and make your own decisions cause if you go with the flow today, I guarantee that youre going to be fat. Here are 3 reasons why: #1) Rampant Portion Sizes Supersize it, Biggie Fries, Value Meal, Super Big Gulp phrases that we use so commonly, its hard to believe that wed have to explain what they mean to someone from another era. Restaurants have blown their portion sizes so big in the name of providing value that one meal could feed a small soccer team. Considering that your stomach is roughly the size of your fist (but thank goodness it stretches!), the portion sizes you get today in the average restaurant could probably fill 5 or more stomachs. But were told to get our moneys worth right? So go ahead and eat up. That way you can spend your money going to the doctor for obesity related health problems later. Thats truly getting your moneys worth! #2) Diet as Religion Diets boast a stellar 2-5% success rate (thats a 98% FAILURE rate by the way). And yet if an alien landed in North America, he (or she) would be convinced that our society must be built on the value of dieting. Billboards, magazines, books, television shows, ads, even restaurant menuseverywhere you look youre inundated with the latest diet, diet food or diet plan. Diets are touted as the ONLY solution to weight loss. We have more diets on the market now than ever before. We have more people on a diet now than ever before and yet we continue to get fatteris there ANY POSSIBLE connection here? #3) Escalator Generation Go with the flow and youll enjoy a multitude of worldly conveniences. You can microwave your dinner in 5 minutes, load your dishwasher in 2 and pay the dog walker in 1. You dont have to walk to the store - just hop in the car. Your kids dont have to go swimming theyve got a new Xbox game. Dont bother taking the stairs because theres an elevator. You can sit at a desk for long hours without even getting up from your chair. And when you do come home from work you have the luxury of flopping on the couch and watching Friends while eating takeout. Go with the flow my friend and youll expend less energy while eating more. Oh - and youll also be told that taking a pill is the only way to solve the problem of your ever-increasing waistline. One of the best photographs I ever saw was of the front of a gym. There was a staircase leading up to the gym with an escalator beside it. And you guessed it people were taking the escalator UP to the gym! The only guy on the stairs was walking DOWN them. That pretty much sums up the problem. Unfortunately, if you go with the flow in our world today, chances are very high that youre going to get fat. BUT by knowing what youre up against, you can take steps to go against the flow. By taking a stand, taking charge and making positive choices for your body you can live slim and healthy in a world skewed towards weight gain. Kathryn O’Neill writes for Free To Be Thin - a website offering reviews of various weight loss programs that actually work. For the latest reviews and weight loss tips visit http://www.FreeToBeThin.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kathryn_ONeill http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Ways-Going-with-the-Flow-Will-Make-You-Fat—And-What-To-Do-About-It!&id=1436 amherst bad credit auto loan tips to be ready to apply for an unsecured small business loans accounting for a personal loan for business purchase personal loans norfolk va

Telling A Woman You Like Her Doesn’t Make Her Like You

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

By Teddy Shabba One of the biggest mistakes that I see men make when it comes to attracting women is the ways they communicate that they like her. Most of the time, a man’s communication process consists of him telling her that he likes her. If you really have to tell a woman that you like her, the only thing it will achieve is her not liking you unless she is head over heels in love with you, in which case it doesn’t really mater. Essentially, telling her you like her is telling her she has the green light to make the move on you. Which is the same as you saying to her, “I am the woman and you are the man in this relationship now make the opening move”. This is the main reason why women find it so hard to like a man who has revealed to her that he likes her. That’s her job as a woman to reveal it to you and if you are telling her that then that must mean you are a woman as well. So any woman who is looking for a man, has to reject any person that would say that to her. It might seem unfair and stupid, but you would do the same thing if she took off her clothes and you discovered that she has the same type of plumbing as you do. Women want a man, as much as a man wants a woman, the only difference is in what it is exactly that they both want. At any point it is discovered that the other person can not give us what we want the attraction has officially ended, but you still can be friends, perhaps. Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now. Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man. To learn more about How To Attract Women visit our article section Attract Women Today Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Teddy_Shabba http://EzineArticles.com/?Telling-A-Woman-You-Like-Her-Doesnt-Make-Her-Like-You&id=554321 easy extra make money ways loan federal withholdings on my paycheck financial lenders bad credit low income mortgage payday installment loan

Dating Personals! Find Out How To Write A Knockout Personal Ad

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

By William Lezubski If youre about to leap into dating personals and dont know how to begin to write that knockout dating personal ad, then read further on for some simple steps that will help develop a strategy to create a dating profile that works. Keep in mind this information is based on my personal opinions, and are not taken from any professional dating avenues, so I suggest you read at your own risk! At this point you did your homework and found some really good dating sites that you feel will meet most, if not all, your dating needs. Now youre sitting at your computer desk with your word program open staring off into space, trying to figure out a way to express whom you are as a person. Are you the type of individual that can easily write a job resume, but when it comes to providing delicate information about yourself, you end up playing the game, find the polar bear in a white snowstorm on your blank piece of paper or computer screen? Well dont worry, because youre in the same boat with millions of other people out there with the same problem! Its not easy to whip up a profile about yourself, because you are your biggest critic. If you had some bad experiences with dating in the past, or you may have had very little practice in the so-called date community, this could be a reason you will have a hard time trying to get the right message out to the other online singles, which will be seeking you out for any future potential relationship. Dating Profiles Should Be Written With A Resume Approach! Whether youre writing for a work resume or a free personals dating ad, one thing thats commonly required is a clear detailed approach. Now depending how serious you are about meeting someone online is up to you, and that will be reflected in the end result of your personals profile. Step # 1: Talk to your closest friends and family, and ask them to comment on your personality, and tell why you want this information so they dont lie to you. Their perception of you is extremely valuable information, because they know you the best! It may be a true eye opener on what other people may think about you, and how they actually perceive you as a person. You may think that youre the coolest cat on the planet, later to find out that you have personal flaws that put you in the ranks of a sloppy dog. You need this feedback, because if you were dating in the past and have not picked up on any of your weaknesses by now, then all youre going to do is get more frustrated with yourself as the limited responses come in from your ad. Step # 2: Now that you received your incredibly honest feedback from your best friends and family and wondered why they enjoyed the process immensely, you now realize that you actually dont look like Brad Pitt, or Pamela Anderson, and that sticking a bratwurst up your nose on a first date is not allowed, you are now ready to take this wonderfully critical information and start writing your profile message. The Singles Version Of: Who, What, Where, When, Why! Step # 3: If youre having difficulty putting all your personal information in your singles profile, follow the standard format that many Marketing companies use for their advertising campaigns. Remember that writing dating ads is very similar to marketing ads. You want to get your message across to someone that is interested in your qualities and personal attributes, which is very similar to an advertisement targeting certain demographics to sell their product. Does this make sense? Ok, lets continue then! a. “Who” are you as a person? Dont BS here, make sure you tell it like it is, even if your mother branded you as the crazy black sheep out of all the siblings! Deep down this is where you will start to find your true compatibility with others online, because if you like to eat French Toast and bacon for dinner, and hotdogs for breakfast, you may be surprised that there are hundreds of others that enjoy to do the same. You see where Im going with this? Its not how you look, how smart you are, or how many reps you can do at the gym. Its common interest, and sometimes people who find things that are in common with others means more to them than anything else. b. “What” are you looking for in an online match? Again, tell it like it is! Do you want to meet someone for long walks on the beach, and romantic dinners by candlelight, or would you rather find someone that enjoys eating spicy nachos and watching re-runs of Gilligans Island. Believe it or not, there are people that enjoy this! The bottom line is express in your ad what you are looking for in a person that is most compatible to your lifestyle. So if youre not into horseback riding naked, then dont put that in your profile, just so you can try and impress the other person. It doesnt work that way in the matchmaking process. c. “Where” would you like to find and meet someone for a potential date? If you want to only have select meetings with singles in your community, or surrounding area, make sure to mention this, and be clear and to the point. More than likely if you neglect to put this fact in your dating place of choice, you may get responses from all over the world, and unless you happen to be traveling outside of America to countries like Australia, China, or Brazil, then its crucial that youre specific on how far youre willing to travel to meet someone. Give them a miles radius, and this will definitely narrow down your selection. d. “When” are you available once a match is confirmed? Im not sure if you will agree with me or not on this subject. I find that if youre going to the length of finding compatible singles on relationship sites that specialize in matchmaking, chances are theyre going to eventually find you a match, so make sure youre prepared to go on your date, and that you have the available quality time to do so. In this part of your personal profile, express that you have put special time aside in your hectic schedule to spend some valuable dating time with that select individual. Nothing is worse than finally making that ultimate match, to find out that youre schedule is booked solid. Dont worry, your mother doesnt need your help finding that missing sock in the dryer anymore, so take that off your list and free up one day. e. “Why” are you using a service online over conventional dating avenues? This is a very touchy subject to put in your profile match description, and could be left out if you feel it is not necessary, or anybodys business. However, even though most single individuals know why they’re on the dating site and dont feel they need to express their reasons, they seem to be extremely curious of why the other person is on the matchmaking site. In this case, its to your advantage to be honest and communicate why youre using the services. Of course, youre going to read things like: Im tired of head games, or I dont have the time, because I deliver papers in the morning, run a fast food restaurant during the day, and race gerbils at night! Hello, again tell the truth! Write in your profile relationship box that you have already dated in the community, and you want to meet more compatible people in your area. Tell them you havent found the right one yet, and explain to them that friendship is all that you have found so far, and youre looking for more in a relationship, and that is why youre searching on the Internet! The last bit of online dating advice I would like to provide to you is that you really have to express you true self without sounding desperate. Many of the singles online will easily pick this up if you submit comments like, I date anybody that has a heartbeat, or Im not picky! Everybody is looking for the right one that has the most compatible features, so before you start writing that knockout personal profile, and you’re serious about finding someone for a long-term romance or possible marriage, remember its not always about looks, money, or how intelligent you are, it may be as simple as telling someone that you really enjoy spending quality time with your partner on the comfy couch, with a bowl of popcorn watching a marathon of sappy movies together. About the author: William is the owner and the author of Intimate Adult Dating Web Site available at http://www.intimate-adult-dating.com A great source for Online Dating with quality online dating services offered! With your select online dating site available at your fingertips, you can easily meet singles online for matchmaking and find your online romance in one convenient location. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=William_Lezubski http://EzineArticles.com/?Dating-Personals!-Find-Out-How-To-Write-A-Knockout-Personal-Ad&id=60861 hard money lenders that do business in connecticut organizations that provide small personal loans for people who have bad credit no faxing required payday loans with instant appro magnumz advance payday loan

7 Questions You Must Answer Before You Pursue a Job

Sunday, June 1st, 2008

By Rob Sullivan The first two questions below are self-assessment questions that address your interests, motivations, and potential. The last five questions are company-specific and must be answered separately for each company you approach. What is your dream job? Whether or not you know the answer to this question, you owe it to yourself to talk with as many people in as many different careers as possible. If you can, focus on people who love their jobs. They can teach you the most about what to look for in a career because, in all likelihood, they didnt start out in a job they love. They worked toward it. Find out what they learned along the way. Once you have a career in mind, do your best to learn not only what people enjoy about it, but also what frustrates them. Whatever you do, its important not to romanticize the career of choice. This way, you can minimize the impact of unpleasant surprises down the road. What attracts you to this career? Of all the questions people neglect to ask, this may be the most common. Its not enough to say that you have always wanted to work in a particular job because it doesnt give people a reason to believe you. After the movie Big was released, Id be willing to bet the toy industry was bombarded by people who wanted the job Josh Baskin (Tom Hanks) had in the movie. And I bet Mattel, Tyco, and the other toy companies didnt interview any of those people because there was no reason to believe theyd given the career more than 2 hours of thought. Career-changers and entry-level candidates in particular have to make a compelling case for pursuing a given career because employers want to feel confident they arent taking a risk. What skills or qualities are important to each particular employer?Is it surprising that this has almost nothing to do with you? If, as I suspect, you havent given this enough attention, dont beat yourself up. Most people dont consider it all. Thats why most people who pursue hard-to-get jobs dont often get them. Remember, every company is different. They have different customers, different products or services, and different corporate cultures. As a result, they also have different needs. Qualities that are important to one employer may be irrelevant or, at worst, detrimental to another. Take the time to understand the differences. For example, one company may seek employees who are personally so conservative and corporate that they border on uptight. Another company in the same industry may look for employees who are outgoing and free-spirited, while at the same time professional. The same candidate will not appeal to both. Why would you excel at this company? The answer to this question is directly related to the prior two questions. Once you have demonstrated the initiative to build a base of knowledge and understanding about the needs of a potential employer, selling yourself will be much easier. Although this may come as a surprise, just having the passion to educate yourself about a particular career is often enough to demonstrate potentialespecially at the entry-level. The fact is, relatively few people learn anything on their own. Its not as if you need to sign up for extra courses either. Just read everything you can find. If you are genuinely interest in the career, it wont seem like work. Why is the position open? This question should always be part of your due diligence in learning more about the company and the opportunity. Perhaps the company is growing and getting new business from clients. As a result, they need to hire more people to meet their needs. That, of course, is ideal. However, it is also possible that the position is extremely stressful. Or, it may be that the supervisor is difficult to work with and no one has ever lasted more than six months. Whatever the case, its always best to find out BEFORE your first day of work. Are raises and promotions based on tenure or performance? If you are a person who is motivated, enjoys challenges, and expects to be rewarded for a job well done, you arent likely to be happy in an environment that values tenure more than performance. What incentive would you have to work hard if raises and promotions are based primarily on your length of employment? Considering the impact this can have on your personal happiness and overall career satisfaction, you owe it to yourself to find a company that values and rewards performance first and foremost. What can you expect salary-wise? Before you go into an interview, its important to do your homework and know your market value. Since this can vary from city to city and from company to company, its pays to know as much as possible in advance. For a general idea, you can start by reading the trade press (i.e., the magazines and newspapers that cater to specific industries.) Trade magazines like Restaurant News, Advertising Age, and others often have an annual issue that features a salary survey. However, these salary surveys are always subject to error so be careful. If you have networking contacts within the industry, they would probably be a far better source of information. Better still, contact a headhunter (executive recruiter) who specializes in the industry. Its their job to know what different companies are paying employees. Rob Sullivan is a Chicago-based inspirational speaker, corporate trainer, and career coach who specializes in helping companies and individuals with professional development, recruiting, and career-related challenges. Find out more about Rob Sullivan at http://thecareerelevator.com/sullivan Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rob_Sullivan http://EzineArticles.com/?7-Questions-You-Must-Answer-Before-You-Pursue-a-Job&id=141930 sales calls reap payday no credit check computers johnny paycheck lyrics texas car loan for people with bad credit